are quite not easy when you have put your heart in the things you want to let go and to move on from. I am speaking for myself. I don’t know if this is true for others but only those who had walked the same path will understand the feelings. Remembering all the efforts exerted and the time spent in pursuing this endeavor makes it more difficult to move on and count it as history. My simple mind could not still comprehend that after giving my best everything turned to nought. I guess this is the true meaning of “my best is not good enough.” I can still feel the pains and disappointments but need to hide them as they are insignificant to the people around me.
For some it is just a long playing drama. They do not understand the heartache that the failure has given me. Because they are not part of it in the first place. I realized that I’m alone in the boat doing things by myself. Many are spectators doing nothing but quick to say it is okay not realizing that if they just only did their “little tasks” while there is still time, the result would have been different.
I suddenly feel tired of my life. My boat is sinking. Soon I might be drowned with sadness, discouragement and loneliness. I’ll never know if I’ll learn to swim through and survive.