My second daughter’s 1st birthday is fast approaching. But I haven’t started the preparations yet. This is very unusual because during my eldest’s 1st birthday, I have started preparing months before.
I feel guilty that I could not find time to start even the invitation and the banner. My plan to shop for her birthday giveaways during our Manila trip didn’t materialize as well. I was not able to visit Divisoria Mall because it was too crowded. They were with me when I visit Divisoria so I could not roam freely and fast.
Another reason why I could not find the motivation to start the preparation is because I am half-hearted to celebrate it the way we celebrated her Ate’s 1st birthday. I am thinking of just celebrating it as a family with some close friends here in Panglao. I want to save the money for her future birthdays when she can already enjoy her special day. When I throw a small children’s party for her 1st birthday everyone will enjoy except for her. She will not even remember a little part of the party when she grows old. Yet I will exert so much effort, spend money and stress myself with the preparation. And I want to spare myself from those. Is this selfishness?
I want a simple celebration where I will not be stressed that much. But my worry is if my daughter will ask me in the future why her 1st birthday is so private while her Ate has a children’s party how small it may be. That would really squeeze my heart especially if I see that she’s hurting.
So do you think we should just throw a small children’s party for her? I am having a hard-time to decide.