Child Rearing

Our Little Boss

  • Sumo

When my daughter reached two years of age, I noticed that she started to have her way to do things. She started to command us and do things for her. And when we tried to teach her, she would insist what she knows. My husband would sometimes complain, she does not want to be taught! Even her playmates were her victims. She will only lend the toys that she wants to share. If her playmates touch other toys, she will grab the toys and insist her chosen toys. What a dictator, isn’t? And if we didn’t do things her way, she will use her ultimate weapon, her tears! She would cry as if she’s the most pitiful being in the whole world! Sometimes, I can’t help it but to go insane ๐Ÿ˜€

Then I remember the stages of child development I learned from my Psychology subject way back in college. Every child will pass through the egocentric stage in which the child perceives that the universe only revolves around him/her. This makes them feel superior over other people around them. This bossy behavior is very common among two and three year old toddlers but we should not allow our kids to indulge in this behavior for too long, otherwise we will be sorry in the future.

Sciezka In the case of my daughter, if it possible, I allow her to have a choice over things. Like for example on Sundays, I allow her to choose what dress to wear and what shoes to put on. When it comes to her snack, I ask her what juice she likes to drink and I give her at least two choices of food to eat. Even when she defecate, we ask her who she wants to wash her ass (very seldom I didn’t get the honor :-/). And if she asks for something, we always wait for her to say please and remind her to say thank you when she gets her want. ย For tougher situations, like she’s doing something not right and after several warnings, she is still doing it, I will ask her to choose between a belt or she will stop her wrong doings. Not that I am frightening her but I want her to realize that disobedience always resulted to punishment and obedience yield blessings.

Here are some other tips to conquer this stage of bossiness. ย (source: whattoexpect.com – bossiness)

  • Provide enough attention. Your child’s demands may be a plea for more time together.
  • Give back some control. Offering your child choices (“Do you want to wear the pink skirt or purple one?”) makes her feel empowered.
  • Boost her self-esteem. Ask for her help with simple chores like putting laundry in the hamper or tearing lettuce for a salad, and offer lots of praise when the task is complete. That way, she’ll feel important without having to order someone else around.
  • Reinforce social skills. Make “please” a part of your child’s vocabulary, teach her to take turns, and encourage empathy for others (“How would you feel if Susie grabbed your doll?”).
  • Lead by example. Are you constantly bossing your child around or making her hurry up or wait? Treat your toddler the way you’d like to be treated, Mom.
  • Don’t be a doormat. When her demands and/or tone of voice are out of bounds, calmly let her know it and do not oblige.

Are you on the same situation? How do you hande your child’s bossiness?

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11 thoughts on “Our Little Boss

  1. @Mommy J
    Thank you for adding my link ๐Ÿ™‚

    @Beyond Motherhood
    Same with my daughter, there was a time that she had no other word but NO, but now there is an improvement, she already answers YES. “Terrific two” is more positive. Thanks for sharing your thoughts ๐Ÿ™‚

    @Chris
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and yes we cease not to pray for our daughter ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you din that you like the new design ๐Ÿ™‚

    @teJan
    I am happy that the post and the thoughts of other moms are blessings to you. Your input will surely be a blessing to other moms who will visit this post as well. Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughst ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. wow! mommy, thanks for inviting me here! I’m so blessed with this entry of yours and for many experiences of other moms posted here. Coz you know what this reminder is really what I need nowadays with my daughter. She is on this stage now and waaaaahhh! as I said she is my girl, my princess and my BOSS. heheh.
    When i was still studying child psychology and yet was single, I have so many ideals in my mind what to do with my kids someday. But now that I have her, all those were gone and I tend to be spoiling her. I’ll do and give almost all what she wants as to avoid crying drama. I’d rather have peace than to be right:)

    Well, luckily because her father is calm and disciplinarian, I can see and proud to say that she’s a smart kid after all, all I did even the fact I gave in all the time, but every night I prayed for her and every morning I talk to her the right thing. Expalaining her every now and then about why ‘NO’ and why ‘YES’. Understanding and knowing our children’s capabilities will be so much helpful. Stages is given and basic but the effects or results always depends on how they were handled and known.
    And that living by example is number one! Yes it is!

  3. its just a stage.. but as moms, we should guide them through this stage. i have read good advices posted here… one important factor is to pray for her too ๐Ÿ˜€ my son is a 2 year old boy and he gets bossy and doesnt really follow instructions most of the time… im still learning how to get through to him too… will post about it soon!

    have a great day!

    by the way, nice design!

  4. This is the โ€œterrible twoโ€ stages, but I called it terrific two. I can relate with your situation and for a first time parent, it can be a bit hard and it even more difficult when we donโ€™t understands what is happening. One of the things I learn is learning the stages of child development help you prepare of what to expect, and I find it easier to get through it.

    I had this experience with my 1st son even before he is 2 years old. He constantly say no almost everything, being negative most of the time, throwing toys and even banging head on things. Yelling back will not solve the situation. I wasn’t with my boy most of the time as I was working then but when I am with him, he will show his tantrums and his rebellious action. One of the ways I use is distracting him with something else though sometimes it doesnโ€™t work. I donโ€™t gives in to his tantrum itโ€™s either yes or no, I look straight into his eyes when I talk, shows I mean what I say. I did use time out too for a while, and sometimes I just ignore the temper tantrums. When I had my 2nd child it is much much easier.

    Donโ€™t gets so stressed about itโ€ฆ relax, they soon will outgrow these stages as they are learning everyday. Let us enjoy our parenting try focusing on the good but be ready for the bad. Hug and kiss to your little girl ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. mye: btw, i am running a contest in my other blog and currently i am looking for sponsors โ€“ just thought you might want to come and jump in :)
    http://blogappetite.comthanks!

    Thanks for your input mommy. And yes, I am willing to sponsor. Just let me know how. This will be my first time in case ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. yami: I havenโ€™t had the opportunity to raise my kids on my own not in the last three years. When i was working i used to have a yaya and my mother is living with us then so they practically help me in rearing my kids. Iโ€™m thankful they are growing up to be obedient kids in some aspects. May kakulitan pa rin just like most kids do. The good thing with Ska is that she knows what she wants at an early age. You just need to guide her para hindi sumobra at maging bratty siya. Tingnan mo mommy sa picture pa lang malalaman mo na hindi siya pwedeng ibully ng ibang kids. Mukhang atapang abata. :)

    Hahaha! Mukha bang atapang na bata??? Me pagkamaldita at suplada nga daw sabi ng iba, pero she’s sweet sa mga kakilala nya. I agree with you, she needs proper guidance para hindi maging bratty. Thanks for your input mommy, I appreciate it so much ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. That’s probably why it’s labeled as the ‘terrible twos’. Fortunately, we didn’t go through that phase with our little one who is now 7. I guess we lucked out on that aspect….but, we still have a long way to go. I can only cringe now when I think about the ‘tween & teen’ years.

    Great tips!

    J

  8. I haven’t had the opportunity to raise my kids on my own not in the last three years. When i was working i used to have a yaya and my mother is living with us then so they practically help me in rearing my kids. I’m thankful they are growing up to be obedient kids in some aspects. May kakulitan pa rin just like most kids do. The good thing with Ska is that she knows what she wants at an early age. You just need to guide her para hindi sumobra at maging bratty siya. Tingnan mo mommy sa picture pa lang malalaman mo na hindi siya pwedeng ibully ng ibang kids. Mukhang atapang abata. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. having the same daughter’s name, i’d like to share with you some thoughts..

    my twins grew not having 100% of the time from mom and dad because we need to work to sustain our needs. they are mostly left at my mom’s place. they bossed around a little late. yours is about 2years, mine bossed at around 4. i used to give in when they cry but now i learned that it’s what they are using to mess with me.

    what do i mean mess? it’s not really crying. it’s wanting to get what she wants and if you give in, she’ll think she’ll always have it her way when she cries ๐Ÿ™‚

    let her play more often with her peers so that she’ll learn how to share ๐Ÿ™‚

    hope it helps ๐Ÿ™‚

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